She looked down at her wrist, as she did so many times each day, hoping to see something different. One year, 1 day, 35 minutes, 2 seconds. She was going to celebrate her 83rd birthday tomorrow.

Why was she supposed to take so long?  One would think that she’d be used to the idea by now. She’d known since she was a little girl that she wouldn’t meet her soulmate until she was eighty-four. That didn’t make it better. She was doomed since birth for some deep loneliness that friends couldn’t fill.  Now that she was nearly eighty-three, she found herself looking at her clock more than ever with a kind of restless excitement.

Continue reading “soulmate”


“if you will”

And when he saw Jesus, he fell on his face and begged him, “Lord, if you will, you can make me clean.”  And Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, “I will; be clean.”  And immediately the leprosy left him.

Luke 5:12-13


This was a leper, an outcast, with a disease that wouldn’t just go away.  He was sick, unclean, for life.  But he had faith that Jesus could make him well.  And that was what changed him.

In his love and compassion, Jesus touched him.

It’s almost as if Jesus said “I will” like it was obvious.  Of course I will, my love.  I made you.  If you were the only person on the earth, I would still take your sin upon myself and die for you.  You asked; of course I will make you clean.

What amazing mercy Jesus displays!  He is the manifestation of God’s love for us.  He reaches out to those who beg for his power!

things you’re good at

how can I even make a list like this? that’s like writing you out on paper. Can I even try?

  • you’re good at a lot of things, please understand.  You’re so good.
  • you’re good at listening to me
  • you’re good at taking care of the people you love
  • you’re good at sharing what you think
  • you’re good at keeping us safe
  • you’re good at giving grace when I need it
  • you’re good at making plans
  • you’re good at collecting memories
  • you’re good at picking music
  • you’re good at making masterpieces
  • you’re good at playing with kids
  • you’re good at moving on when you need to
  • you’re good at realizing when you need help
  • you’re good at being there for me
  • you’re good at humility
  • you’re good at growth
  • you’re good at sweetness
  • you’re good at light
  • you’re good at love


“my heart will choose to say, Lord, blessed be your name.”

The hardest choices are the ones we make in our souls, the ones that cut against our thoughts and feelings, the ones that reach for something higher.

We tend to sit in our own selves, not ready to move to greater things.  “I’m fine,” we say, or “I’ll be ok,” or even “I’m learning to be content.”  Too scared of change, too scared to get up, we stay where we are.  But God forbid we sit still.  That would mean we’d have to face our thoughts.  Instead, we busy ourselves with work, school, music, anything to numb the life we lead, to numb the weight we know we carry.  Is that all life is, is life just staying where we’re comfortable?

What if… what if we rise up?  What if we choose to bless the name of the Lord?  what if we choose to seek his Kingdom, and what if that search takes us out of our comfort zone?

….but what if we were never meant to stay in our comfort zone?

God seems to be in the business of stretching us past our abilities, resources, and capability.  It is just past ourselves that we see more of Him and He is best seen through our lives.

— Jennie Allen, Nothing to Prove

It’s a hard choice to move out of our old selves, but it’s worth it.  We were made to be with God.  He longs to reveal himself to you.  All you have to do is make the choice to step forward.

why do I write?

Why do I write?  Is it for the attention, the insight?  maybe.  I think I write to get my thoughts out, to share what I learn, and to figure out my thoughts at the same time.  Sometimes I write for pages and pages and end up scrapping it all.  Sometimes I come to a conclusion.  Sometimes I like how it sounds and I think others will want to see it.  Sometimes it makes no sense.  Sometimes it’s just catharsis. Continue reading “why do I write?”